I wish I could teleport
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
