Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
