hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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