Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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