i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
