is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
