I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Can I color on your dick again?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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