On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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