i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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