HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
