Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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