I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize