omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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