I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
