The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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