Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
