He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
