yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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