a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
