whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
