She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
