What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
