He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
