the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
