and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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