Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
