i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
