found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
