I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
