Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize