My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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