i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
