at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
