I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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