You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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