i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
