just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
