How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
