I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
