I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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