I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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