i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
