u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
