It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Drunk is not a location!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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