hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
