The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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