are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
