I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
