I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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