btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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