I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
