there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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