Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
