my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He better not be in your backpack
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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