So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm having to shit out rocks
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