So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
