So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
