wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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