Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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