Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
