Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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